This week we were asked to think of a time when we witnessed or reprimanded or silenced a child after he or she pointed out someone they saw as different. Initially it took me a while to think of an instance but something a little uncomfortable came to mind. I was with my family during my oldest daughter's lacrosse game. A teenage girl with Downs Syndrome decided to sit next to my youngest daughter who was 5 at the time. My daughter covered her eyes and said, "NO! DON'T SIT HERE"!! I was so shocked her response and I wanted to crawl under the bleachers. I yelled at her and told her to be nice. The girl's mother looked at me and said, "That's okay". It wasn't okay. I felt awful about the way my daughter behaved and I knew it was because in her 5 year old mind she thought that the girl looked different. When I had a chance to reflect on what happened I found myself asking what I had to done to help or teach my daughter how accept people even if they looked different.
As a special educator I have always tried to teach about acceptance and diversity. Did I forget to talk about this with my youngest daughter? My oldest child has always been very welcoming and accepting of people with disabilities. I don't really even remember having to go out of my way to teach her about this. As a mother I felt embarrassed about the way my child behaved. When I think about Haro's cycle of liberation, I know that when you look at the cycle, the incident with my daughter caused me to enter into the "wake up" stage. According to the cycle, the wake up stage begins with a critical incident. Based on the incident it moved me into the "getting ready" stage. In the getting ready stage we have to dismantle beliefs that we may have. I realized that along the way my daughter had developed some ideas about people who she thinks look different to her. It was up to me to move her to the "building community" stage. My initial reaction to my daughter to simply be nice wasn't even to explain what she had done wrong. I did have to try to I did talk about people with disabilities and why it's important to treat people with respect.
Reference
Harro, B. (2008). The cycle of liberation
Hi Thesha,
ReplyDeleteI completely related to your post. My story was very similar. My daughter saw a man in a wheelchair with no legs. He is a war veteran. My little girl was just making a statement (aloud) that man has no legs. I also whispered to her to be quiet. I wished I had taken the time to speak to this gentleman with my daughter. He would have loved to talk with her and she would have learned from that experience. I have since had discussions with her about diversity. Fortunately, she is very accepting and loving. As parents and educators, we have to be role models and have open communication with our children. Thank you for sharing your insights! CIndy Rube